It’s like the ‘Tetris Effect’, where you see blocks in front of your eyes when you close them, only instead of blocks it’s animals and instead of closing your eyes it’s all the freakin’ time. We sincerely hope we’re not alone and that it will subside if/when we eventually stop playing. So come and read about our problem, then let us know if any of it rings a bell (so shiny!) for you.
You pretend you’re not home when you see a squirrel
Because if you make eye-contact, it will want to come over. And then you’ll have to agree and invite it in. You would be rude not to and it will get sad if you decline. But you know exactly what will happen when it does come round.
This squirrel will demand to see all your rooms. Then it will criticise your spare room for ‘not being lived in enough’. And then it will ask you to play guitar, but when you do it will say ‘oh it’s time to go already’ and then leave. But then when it’s gone, you’ll receive a letter from it with a barbeque in the envelope because it thinks your house would benefit from having outdoor cooking facilities in the lounge. So excuse us for pretending we’re not home.
You see a balloon and wonder what present it’s bringing you
Alright, so it’s a bit far away and probably more full of people than rare furniture, but you just never know.
So it’s worth checking to see if the wind is blowing it in your direction, just in case. And then you wonder what it might bring you to add to a specific collection of things in your house. Although, seeing as your house only has collections of ‘socks that need to be washed’ and ‘dishes that haven’t been done’ since you’ve been spending all your time on Animal Crossing, maybe it’s not such a good idea to ask for more.
You see a tree and scan it for bugs/fruit/furniture
…But then you have second thoughts when you think about the possibility of a bees’ nest coming down and making you run around with a swollen face until you take some medicine or go to sleep for a bit. Even though everyone knows a swarm of bees is actually only one big bee that can be caught if you get your net out fast enough.
These trees (pictured) in particular are a sorry sight. Some bastard’s clearly nicked all the bananas off ’em and it’ll be days before there are any more.
You see a building site and picture raccoons inside
There’s building work going on. That means someone hitting something with a hammer three times over and over again but, nonetheless, there will be a newly revamped building in just a couple of days’ time, no doubt full of fortune cookies, notepaper and carpets.
And you can imagine the raccoons in there. Probably working in shifts and mumbling things to themselves at the end of sentences (yes they are). And being visited by their loan shark uncle who is probably funding the extension, only with a massive rate of interest. Poor sods.
You see an otter and wish you had a scallop
Because this otter is clearly a deep-thinking 1960s-style hippy who will trade you a scallop for a rare piece of furniture.
Problem is, you’ll never know because you didn’t bring your wetsuit with you when you left the house this morning.
You start to notice furniture for sale
Especially stuff like this. Sure, it’s a common chair, but it could easily be painted red. And then placed on the right-hand side of your living room. You know, for luck.
Alternatively, it could be bought and then resold to an unsuspecting chipmunk who won’t be sure about the price but will go ahead with the purchase anyway because it trusts you. Naive fool.
You become convinced things are buried everywhere
Maybe a dinosaur skeleton! Or a pitfall seed. Or maybe one of those weird ‘gyroid’ things that beep and bloop at you and look really disturbing.
So you consider the practicalities of carrying a shovel with you everywhere you go, just so you can check and find out.
You tut at tyres, boots and cans
A few weeks ago, you would have looked at this picture and presumed someone has stacked tyres by their van because they’re making a delivery.
All you see now is 480 bells’ worth of disposal fee. Tsk tsk tsk.
You want to catch every bug you see
A pill bug! OK, it’s a woodlouse to me or you, but it’s clearly a pill bug. And yes, we do think it ‘looks nice enough’ to us.
But it’ll also be worth some bells so we need to catch it and sell it. Or maybe give it to an owl who will be uncomfortable holding it but have to accept it because we’re donating it to him so he can put it on display in his museum and stop complaining about it BECAUSE IT’S HIS DAMN JOB.
You’re playing too much Animal Crossing
This is probably the most obvious sign you’re playing too much Animal Crossing. You play it as soon as you wake up, play it through lunch and play it again in the evening to the point that it’s become just as time-sapping as your actual full-time job.
And the 3DS activity chart thing must surely be broken because it says here we’ve played it for 100 hours, which can’t possibly be right when we’ve had the 3DS since launch and no other game has even passed 40 hours in that time.
But what about you?
Are you addicted to Animal Crossing? How is it invading your thought processes? What madness has started to be triggered by everyday objects since you started playing the game? Let us know in the comments. We won’t judge you. Promise.
And if you’re looking for more, check out 20 signs you’re playing too much Tomb Raider and Proof that Animal Crossing: New Leaf’s characters are barking mad.